Jordan and Eddie’s Horror Survival Crate: Zombie Apocalypse Edition

Zomb - post

By Jordan and Eddie on 13/10/2015

It’s fast approaching that time of year again where Halloween hits our doors. With that comes the inevitable scary movie watches, the slew of products associated with the event and a renewed thinking in our minds about all things horror.

With Halloween on our minds it seems apt to produce a list of items that we’d use if we were given one single crate to survive a dreaded horror scenario. Making sure we don’t span the genres we’re going to go with the faithful and well-loved zombie apocalypse scenario. The type of scenario seen in such classic horror movies as Dawn of the Dead and 28 Days Later.

Imagine this – just one sole crate to get you through the horde of the undead. It’s an intriguing scenario and one that allows us to not yell at the screen when survivors do the things or use the things we would never use.

We will each pick 4 items that would be in the crate and also designate the place we’d most likely head to in order to fend off the undead and survive the end of the world as we know it.

Eddie’s Picks

E

Clearly I’m not even scared in a fake haunted house so why would I be concerned about a zombie apocalypse?

Item 1 – Sword

sword

Without having the bother of having to find ammo and learn to properly shot a gun, a sword seems the perfect fit to take to the undead. No doubt inspired by the Samurai sword wielding antics of Michonne from the Walking Dead.

Item 2 – Armour

armour

I’m not suggesting it will be great for movement and of course traversing the landscape but a bit of armour wouldn’t go astray when heading out on supply runs etc. Plus I’ve always wanted to look light a knight!

Item 3 – H20

water

Nothing would be worse than facing the hordes of the undead with a parched feeling, lucky in my crate some H20 would be supplied. Hopefully after my initial stock has run out I’d have found a ready water supply to meet my needs.

Item 4 – Wet Wipes

Wipes 1

Seriously who wants zombie guts on their hands? With an ample supply of Wet Wipes you can easily wipe away the pains and grime of the end of the world and feel fresh and clean while doing so.

Survival location – Cinema

Cinema

Ok, with a generator we get movies to fill in some time, popcorn to snack on and a fridge well stocked with the beverages of champions. With comfortable seats and lots of room for fellow survivors, the cinema is an often underrated place to survive the undead roaming the countryside.

Jordan’s Picks

Zombies and me go way back!

Zombies and me go way back!

Item 1 – Concealer

Conceal

I’m not normally one to carry around makeup, but could see myself being that sucker that gets bitten early on and unsuccessfully tries to hide it from the group (c’mon, you’d do the same…). Having concealer or some other form of heavy duty cosmetics might make this a bit easier.

Item 2 – First Aid Spray

First

The faithful tonic used to fully restore the health of Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine in the Arklay Mountains mansion is a must for anyone serious about surviving a zombie encounter. Especially if you’re only given 6 storage slots; you don’t want to be worrying about mixing herbs.

Item 3 – A collection of selfies

KIm

Just in case the zombies are of the Return of the Living Dead variety craving the insides of your cranium, what better way to shrink your brain and thus their appetite than flipping through pages of selfies in your downtime. Another positive here is that after only a small amount of reading, the zombies won’t seem so bad. Optimism would go a long way in a zombie apocalypse.

Item 4 – Sniper rifle plus ammo

Sniper

Of course, a weapon is essential in being one of the few survivors of such an event, and if I had to choose between being on the front line risking life and limb to stick it to the undead hordes and providing cover from a safe distance, preferably in an area then where a zombie wouldn’t sneak up on me, which is always the risk, I think I’d do the team thing and choose the latter.

Survival location – Mall

Mall

Yes, I know its the most obvious location you can pick, but George Romero didn’t put his ragtag crew there for no reason. Seal the exits, stockpile the food and move a freight truck into position for a quick getaway if needed.

Zomb

This post was inspired by the fine people over at Man Crates who if you didn’t figure out by their title sell actual crates filled with goodies for all types of men. These crates literally need to be opened by a crowbar and on their website you will find many variety of goodies including Halloween themed crates that should see you readily supplied for all manner of possibilities.

Visit Man Crates here – http://www.mancrates.com/

Also check out Man Crates handily designed horror check list here – Man Crates _ The Horror

What would you have in your survival crate? What scenario do you think you’d best be suited to come the end of the world? Let us know in the comments below we’d love to hear from you!

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6 responses to “Jordan and Eddie’s Horror Survival Crate: Zombie Apocalypse Edition

  1. I want to be the first to be bitten. I am definitely not suited for long term survival in a post apocalyptic world.

  2. Man, this is awesome. I love it. Practical mixed with comedy. First Aid Spray and Concealer cracked me up! The theater is a great spot to hold up in the zombie apocalypse. That needs to be a movie! I’m already outlining it in my head. It’d have to be 80s or something so survivors could watch movie reels, plus ripe for homages and pop culture comedy. I loved this article, guys. Wicked!

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